There are times when I struggle with my calling. It is not becuase I struggle with ministry, I can think of nothing more humbling and exciting than getting to work fulltime with people who long to do the will of God. My struggle is with my deep inner calling to be about the mission of God while also meeting trying to maintain what the elders and members at my church see as my primary 'job responsibilities'.
I guess that is one of my struggles with the church as an institution, as another consumer-market driven entity in McWorld. My inner being stirs when I read the missional church literature and try to dream about how things could be different, but for now, I am caught in the midst of the religious politics of church.
One piece that has challenged me greatly is "Detoxing from Church". Try it out. (I am also interested in the piece "Discipling for the Comortably Numb".) Maybe what our churches really need is to just check in to rehab. (I have to wonder if many of our problems are more related to our addictions and cravings than to Scripture and God's purposes for the world.)
I wish I could write more to express what I am really thinking, but I have to get back to the obligations and responsibilities inherent in my job, but in an hour I will get to leave here and try to help a young father grasp a more clear vision of what God is doing in the world. Now that I think about it, maybe the job is still worth it...
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