Thursday, August 19, 2010

This Is No Fairytale: A Wedding Homily

(This is the homily from my little sister's wedding this past weekend.)

Scripture for the day: 2 Corinthians 3:17-4:16a.

Well, here we are. K, we’ve come along way from the Carebears and Strawberry Shortcake. (I do think I remember that those Carebears soccer uniforms were purple too though!) No more duets of “another time and another place,” where you totally outshine my feeble attempts to sing…. No more crazy cheerleading costumes…. No more sneaking sunshine packages to unassuming students on the HU and OC campuses… To be honest, I’m not quite sure when my baby sister grew up, but you did…. And we all get to bear witness to that beautiful and mysterious work of God today! You are truly gorgeous….

I want the two of you to take just a minute and look around this room. Seriously, just look around. Don’t be shy…. You are joined today by people who love you, who have come to celebrate with you and share in this covenant and who by their own presence promise to help you honor one another and keep the vows you are making today.

K, you’ve had a lot of practice getting ready for days like today. I still remember like it was yesterday, all of the surprise parties that you and KA would plan behind the scenes in 2 & 3 grade. I mean, how could Mrs. Gary really resist, much less shut down, all those parties you threw in “her honor”? You’ve been planning and throwing parties a long time, and this one is the biggest yet!

And this party has been a long time coming, hasn’t it. I’m not sure that either of you could have ever imagined the journeys that brought you to this day. K, when you were planning all those parties in 3rd grade, could you ever have imagined all that’s happened in the past twenty years? N, could you?

Fairytale or Gospel?

And looking here at the two of you is sort of a fairytale experience. You both look incredible. The whole picture is almost surreal. N, you clean up pretty well now, don’t you? And K, in my lifetime I’ve only seen one bride more enchanting than you!

The scene is perfect… gathered by a lovely court of attendants… the candles lit with gentle flames romantically dancing… the flowers splashing the space with a perfect palette of color and leaving a hint of the fragrance of love wafting through the air…. Yes, this is fairytale type stuff.
But then, I’m not much for fairytales…. I know that probably sounds a bit stuffy, like I’m a crotchety ole cynic at the age of 35. I mean, I’m the father of two little girls for goodness’ sake. You’d think I’d have a Walt Disney kind-o’-heart.

But here’s the thing. I may be a cynic, but I’m a hopeful cynic. I just don’t think that fairytales get the story quite right for me. In fact, I think they tell it all wrong. They aren’t beautiful enough. They aren’t profound enough. And they just don’t get the ending right.

I guess that is one of the reasons we’ve heard this rather strange text from Paul today. I love the heart of Paul’s language in this passage…. “We have this brilliant treasure of God in fragile clay jars, so that it may be clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us…. We are always carrying around the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies.” You see, for me fairytales have this false assumption that this moment is the best there ever is or will be, that the shimmer and shine is eternal, that the brilliance and beauty of this moment reigns supreme.

Fairytales don’t take the journey of the past seriously enough…. The fairy tales would have us believe that today is the ultimate escape from the past. In fairytales the struggles of life aren’t beautiful enough, so they must be overcome and forgotten. They just can’t imagine that there is anything redemptive there. But we don’t gather today in spite of life’s struggles, hardships, and trials. In fact we’ve come to celebrate them. They are a part of the ongoing presence and faithfulness of God throughout both of your lives, preparing you for this very moment. Everything from the past is vital to today. God’s good news is that every bump, blip, and breakdown is transformed and redeemed because of the Spirit’s powerful presence with us. In fact, Paul dares us to imagine that it is actually through the cracks, through the places of our brokenness and fragility that the glorious light of God’s Spirit shines through us most powerfully. So we celebrate every moment of the past today!

Fairytales don’t take the future seriously enough either…. For the fairytales, there’s not much more to the story after this. From here on, it’s just a sunset and a “happily ever after.” But for us, this isn’t the pinnacle. No, this is only one moment in time. It’s a beautiful moment, for sure; and it’s a vital moment, or we wouldn’t all be celebrating with you today. But it’s far more important than the fairy tales would have us believe. We are here today because we believe that this is a holy moment, a sacramental moment. God is here. God is doing something. God is starting something. It’s not the end of this tale. It’s more like a new beginning.

Today we cling to the promise that God isn’t content with a “happily ever after,” but longs to transform you and to change the world through you! We recognize and celebrate the beauty of this moment, but we do it because we recognize the presence and work of God here.
So we don’t deny the reality of the tough journeys that have brought you here and we don’t just sugar coat what is ahead. Instead, we remember and celebrate that God is present in every moment, holding you both together, refusing to let you be crushed,… driven to despair,… forsaken,… or destroyed…. But promising to hold you together through the Spirit.

And that is why both everything that has brought you to this point and everything that happens from here is so important. Today, you pledge to live as witnesses of this story, a living letter of this incredibly good news. You covenant to one another to live lives of rich integrity for each other’s sake. You refuse to throw in the towel…. You refuse proclaim yourselves as most important…. You choose the way of radical honesty and humility….

This can be a strange way of living in a world that wants to look out for its own interests and advantage above most anything else. But today you pledge to live to the rhythms of a very different wisdom, the way of Christ’s cruciform love….

I know that this could be a bit overwhelming, especially in the toughest of moments, when everything inside of you is fighting the call to empty yourself and serve one another, when the temptation for self-preservation and looking out for your own interest seems too strong to avoid. But don’t despair for you are never doing it alone. God is working in you, partnering with you, pouring God’s own life into you, so that the light of new creation shines brilliantly into darkness!!!

There will be times when you may not feel the giddiness and emotion that you do today. There will be moments, and they’ll come soon enough, when you won’t feel like loving each other. There will be moments when you want to manipulate things or assert your own will to get your way. But especially in those moments, trust in the economy of God, who is constantly working, to redeem and resurrect things according to God’s ultimate purposes. Believe that you can still give of yourselves freely to one another because you affirm God’s continued care and activity in your own lives and you trust in the surprising and grace-filled work of God that is continually breaking in all around you. You are participating in the very life of God, so you can give of yourselves with reckless abandon.

And that brings us back to where our Scripture started today. As you partner with God for one another’s sake, you can also be sure that God is making you holy! At times it may be imperceptible. But marriage is a crucible of holiness and the Spirit is always there, doing God’s transformative work. And nothing in a fairytale ending comes close to matching that. This isn’t just “happily ever after”… this is transformation together into the image and likeness of God!

It may seem like foolishness, but by choosing to become slaves of Christ for one another today, you are embracing the ultimate freedom. You are opening your life so fully to one another in the Lord that the Spirit can transform both of you into the image of God day after day and from one degree of glory to the next…. As you give of yourselves in love for each other, God’s creative light will shine from your hearts as it shined out of darkness at the dawn of creation. People will be compelled by the awe-inspiring image of the Trinity that is lived out between you. And you will partner with God together in the healing and redemption of the world!

So always remember… please, never forget. For all of the beauty and elegance and perfection of this moment, today isn’t a fairytale…. No, that just wouldn’t do justice to today. Today is no fairytale… today is God’s work, today is gospel!

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